78 Dungeon-Delightful D&D Jokes to Use at Your Next Game Night

🎲 78 Dungeons & Dragons Jokes That'll Slay the Table (Without a Saving Throw)

Whether you’re deep in the Underdark or just trying to survive your DM’s absolutely suspicious smile, every good D&D session needs a laugh or twelve. Sure, you’ve got monsters to slay, puzzles to solve, and at least one party member making absolutely unhinged decisions—but it’s not all doom and dice.

So grab your d20, cast Tasha’s Hideous Laughter, and let’s get punny. These 78 Dungeons & Dragons jokes are here to bring charisma to your conversation and maybe even distract that gelatinous cube long enough for a sneak attack.

Ready? Roll initiative for hilarity!

🧙‍♂️ 1–15: Wizard-Approved Wordplay

1. Why did the wizard fail art school?
   👉 He could only draw magic circles.
2. What's a wizard’s favorite drink?
   👉 Spell-serona.
3. Why don’t wizards ever get locked out of their tower?
   👉 They always have the right incantation.
4. What do you call a wizard who really likes baking?
   👉 A sorcerer supreme.
5. Why was the wizard always calm?
   👉 Because he had a lot of inner spell-flection.
6. What’s a necromancer’s favorite pickup line?
   👉 “Hey baby, are you dead? Because I can’t get you out of my head.”
7. Why did the spellbook go to therapy?
   👉 Too many unresolved issues.
8. How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
   👉 Just one… and ten minutes of verbal components.
9. What’s a conjurer’s favorite TV show?
   👉 Stranger Things That Suddenly Appear in My Summoning Circle.
10. Why did the illusionist get promoted?
    👉 He really knew how to make an impression.
11. What do you call a lazy wizard?
    👉 A sloth-cerer.
12. Why are spell components always broke?
    👉 Because they spend all their money on material goods.
13. What’s a fireball’s favorite genre of music?
    👉 Heavy Metal.
14. Why did the wizard become a gardener?
    👉 He wanted to plant magic beans and cast Barkskin IRL.
15. Why don’t wizards use calendars?
    👉 They just cast Time Stop when things get busy.

🗡️ 16–30: Rogue-Level One-Liners

16. Why did the rogue get kicked out of the bakery?
    👉 He kept stealing rolls.
17. How do rogues stay fit?
    👉 Backstabbing and cardio.
18. What’s a rogue’s favorite type of party?
    👉 A surprise one.
19. Why don’t rogues write books?
    👉 Because they always leave everything unwritten.
20. What do you call a rogue who becomes a bard?
    👉 A steal-o.
21. Why did the rogue bring rope to dinner?
    👉 Just in case things went south and needed to escape through a window.
22. How do rogues get out of speeding tickets?
    👉 Expertise in Deception.
23. What’s a rogue’s favorite exercise?
    👉 Dodge rolls.
24. Why did the rogue flirt with the mimic?
    👉 He thought it was a chest worth opening.
25. What did the rogue say when caught red-handed?
    👉 “No worries, that’s just part of my disguise kit.”
26. What’s the rogue’s favorite type of music?
    👉 Silent disco.
27. Why don’t rogues wear bright colors?
    👉 They prefer to blend into the pun-chline.
28. How does a rogue flirt?
    👉 Sleight of hand... and sleight of heart.
29. What’s a rogue’s worst nightmare?
    👉 A room full of perception checks.
30. What did the rogue name their pet snake?
    👉 Sneak.

🛡️ 31–45: Paladin and Cleric Chuckles

31. Why did the cleric get kicked out of the temple?
    👉 Too many unholy jokes.
32. What’s a paladin’s favorite pickup line?
    👉 “I smite for you.”
33. Why did the cleric refuse to date the necromancer?
    👉 They had nothing in common… except undeath.
34. How does a paladin celebrate their birthday?
    👉 Righteous cake and radiant candles.
35. What do you call a paladin who works in IT?
    👉 Techsorcist.
36. Why did the cleric become a DJ?
    👉 They drop beats of healing.
37. What’s a paladin’s least favorite weather?
    👉 Chaotic storms.
38. How do you make a cleric laugh?
    👉 Tell a resurrection joke—it never gets old.
39. Why are paladins terrible at poker?
    👉 They can’t lie… or even bluff without divine intervention.
40. What’s a cleric’s favorite condiment?
    👉 Holy guacamole.
41. Why did the party’s cleric break up with the bard?
    👉 Too many performance issues.
42. What do you call a cleric’s dating profile?
    👉 Healing Hands, Big Heart, No Smite Left Behind.
43. Why did the paladin join a band?
    👉 He was the Lawful Good drummer.
44. What’s a cleric’s favorite type of comedy?
    👉 Clean, uplifting stand-up… literally.
45. How do you know if someone’s a paladin?
    👉 Don’t worry—they’ll tell you in under five minutes.

🧙‍♀️ 46–65: General Party Mayhem

46. Why did the D20 go to therapy?
    👉 It had too many critical issues.
47. What’s a party’s least favorite NPC?
    👉 The DM in disguise.
48. What do you call a bard who can’t sing?
    👉 An improvisational disaster.
49. Why did the barbarian bring snacks to battle?
    👉 Rage makes you hungry.
50. Why was the monk banned from dodgeball?
    👉 Too many Flurry of Blows.
51. How do you spot the newbie in a party?
    👉 They poke the gelatinous cube.
52. What’s a barbarian’s favorite bedtime story?
    👉 Goldilocks and the Three Goblins—she rages and wins.
53. What do you call a group of indecisive players?
    👉 A Delay Action.
54. How do DMs punish meta-gamers?
    👉 One word: Mimics.
55. What’s a bard’s worst nightmare?
    👉 A silent room.
56. What does a ranger say on a bad date?
    👉 “Guess I missed the target.”
57. What’s the druid’s favorite horror movie?
    👉 The Shambling Dead.
58. What’s worse than a cursed sword?
    👉 A cursed party member with a shopping addiction.
59. What do bards and influencers have in common?
    👉 They both carry performance anxiety.
60. Why did the adventurer fail the cooking check?
    👉 Rolled a natural “burnt.”
61. What’s the party’s favorite phrase?
    👉 “I cast Fireball.”
62. How do you know it’s a chaotic neutral campaign?
    👉 The bard married a dragon—again.
63. Why did the entire party hide from the goblins?
    👉 No one prepared Detect Confidence.
64. Why did the DM laugh during a serious moment?
    👉 Because the players rolled like clowns.
65. What’s a good day in D&D?
    👉 No TPK and free loot.

🎲 66–78: Endgame Giggles

66. Why did the dice cross the table?
    👉 To betray the barbarian.
67. What’s a D&D group’s battle cry?
    👉 “What’s the AC?!”
68. How does a mimic wish you happy birthday?
    👉 With a trap and a cupcake.
69. Why did the party ignore the side quest?
    👉 Because they smelled a trap—and weren’t wrong.
70. How many dragons does it take to ruin a town?
    👉 Just one. Always one.
71. What’s the most unrealistic part of D&D?
    👉 Adventurers with functional sleep schedules.
72. What do you call a dungeon without treasure?
    👉 DM’s revenge.
73. Why don’t DMs get invited to parties?
    👉 They bring too many consequences.
74. What happens when you roll 1 on a charisma check?
    👉 You flirt with a skeleton.
75. What’s the Bard’s motto?
    👉 “There’s no wrong time for jazz hands.”
76. Why did the druid fail biology?
    👉 Too many Wild Shapes, not enough notes.
77. How do you comfort a sad ranger?
    👉 Buy them a new animal companion.
78. What’s the only thing scarier than a dragon?
    👉 The DM’s smile before a random encounter.

And there you have it—78 Dungeons & Dragons jokes that’ll bring inspiration (and probably groans) to your game night. Whether you're the DM of chaos or the bard of bad jokes, these zingers are perfect for lightening the mood, breaking the tension, or distracting your party just long enough for that gelatinous cube to sneak up on them.

Stay on crit with more tabletop laughs at Land of Geek Magazine!

#DNDJokes #TabletopLaughs #CriticalHumor #RPGFun #LandOfGeek